Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
