I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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