I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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