I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
