Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize