Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize