She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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