GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
