he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
