I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
