Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
