Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize