Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
