oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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