You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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