I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
