Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
