The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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