I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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