Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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