$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
