Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize