My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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