My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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