Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Randomize
