Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
