Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
