Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
