I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
