u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She is in my trunk
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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