brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
