I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Success! We fucked roommates!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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