can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
