Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Fuck appropriateness.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
