there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
