The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
