I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
