If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
