She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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