are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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