if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
