We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
