Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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