I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
