my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Are we still banned from the library?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
