i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
