She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
