Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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