I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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