In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
