In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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