Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize