I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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