And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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