Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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