is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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