Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
