They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
