wat bout pragnant strippers??
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
