Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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