you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
