saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
