he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
foreskin is a definite game changer
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
