: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I supernannyed him into submission
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize